Grief in dogs? This is what Amalia showed after Vito's death | Episode 6

When a dog dies, it's not just the human who grieves - dog people often wonder whether the remaining dog is grieving too. After Vito's death, we experienced exactly that with Amalia: changes that touched and surprised us. But what exactly is grief in dogs?

In this article, we take you with us on our journey: We tell you honestly what we have observed with Amalia, how her behaviour has changed and what of this actually has to do with grief. As dog behavioural therapists and dog scientists, we put our observations into a scientific context.

At the end, we not only want to give you a personal insight, but also practical tips on what you can do if your dog loses a companion.

Amalia came to us about a year after Vito - and she wasn 't actually planned. We were perfectly happy with Vito as an only dog. But by chance we came into contact with a breeder in Italy who bred American Pitbull Terriers. We just wanted to learn more about the breed, not actively look for a second dog.

Amalia already caught our eye during this visit - not just because she was cute, but because a lot had gone wrong in her rearing. The mother dog was extremely nervous, the whole litter was restless, and even as a puppy Amalia showed aggression towards other dogs, which later led to serious injuries among her siblings. The previous owners were unable to cope with her.

After some deliberation, we decided to take Amalia home. It was clear to us that she would not be an easy dog. She brought genetic and acquired "packages" with her. But we wanted to give her the chance of a stable home.

When Amalia arrived, she met Vito - a dog who liked everything and everyone. They didn't necessarily need each other, they weren't "inseparable soul mates", but they got on well. Vito was confident, Amalia was nervous. He was often the calming influence that unconsciously grounded her. They played, lived side by side, sometimes liked each other, sometimes ignored each other - as is normal with many dogs in multi-dog households.

This initial situation gave rise to a dynamic that is important for our topic: Amalia orientated herself towards Vito in many ways. He was her social framework, her anchor. The fact that he would no longer be there at some point was also a massive change for her - regardless of whether she felt "grief" in the human sense.

When a dog dies, it doesn't just change everyday life for us humans - the dog left behind also feels this change.
But beware: what we interpret as "grief" is more complex from a behavioural biology perspective.

A decisive difference between humans and dogs is the cognitive understanding of death and transience.
We humans know what "death" means. We realise the final loss, think about the past and the future, develop grief, feelings of guilt and memories.
Dogs, on the other hand, are strongly focussed on the here and now. They don't realise that the dead conspecific will never come back. But they sense that something has changed:

• Odour: A dead dog smells different. The decomposition process begins, metabolism and body chemistry change - dogs are extremely sensitive to this.

• Human behaviour: Dogs perceive subtle changes in our body language, voice, stress level or odour. When we are crying, grieving or in despair, the dog clearly senses this.

• Change of routine: Suddenly there is only one bowl, a Collar is missing, a familiar social partner for walks is gone, rituals are broken.

The central misunderstanding: We humans often project our grief onto the dog. We imagine that they have the same emotions as we do.
Dogs do indeed experience change, uncertainty and stress - but without the mental dimension that we humans add.

For dog people, this means observing exactly where the dog really needs support and where we ourselves need to react more sensitively.

After Vito's death, Amalia's behaviour changed on several levels - but not always in the way many people would expect.

Amalia showed no obvious sadness. She didn't lie whimpering in the corner, she didn't refuse food, she didn't withdraw completely.
But she was much more interested in being close to us.
She wanted to lie closer to us, came to cuddle us more often and followed us from room to room.
This doesn't necessarily show us that Amalia is "grieving" - rather, she sensed the change in our behaviour and was looking for stability.

Amalia's behaviour when Eat was particularly exciting.
Previously, feeding was often stressful: two dogs, two bowls, subtle competition. Amalia gobbled down her food, often nervously, always with one eye on Vito.
It began suddenly after Vito's death:

• slower to eat,

• Chew more quietly,

• take more time.

We do not interpret this as grief, but as an adaptation to the new conditions: less social pressure, less stress.

Some changes that seem like grief are actually just adjustments to a more relaxed environment. This is especially true for sensitive dogs that react strongly to social dynamics.

Another observation: Amalia suddenly began to dream intensely.
This used to be more Vito's thing - he barked, twitched and "ran" in his sleep. Amalia, on the other hand, was rather quiet.
Since Vito's death, she has been dreaming a lot more, sometimes so intensely that we have been waking up at night to check on her.
This is interesting from a cynological point of view: dogs process experiences during sleep, especially emotional arousal. Stress, changes, new everyday dynamics - all of this is "sorted" at night.

When a dog dies, it doesn't just leave a gap for us humans. The dog that remains also senses that something has changed.

You could feel it in Amalia. She sniffed, searched, orientated herself - but was she sad? That's the question we asked ourselves.

From a behavioural biology perspective, one thing is clear: dogs live in the here and now. They have no concept of "gone forever". They realise: the smell is missing, the familiar body is missing, the sounds are missing - but they cannot associate this with a final farewell.

We humans, on the other hand, live with the memory and the idea of loss. We know that Vito is not coming back. Amalia felt our grief, our heaviness, our change - and reacted to it.

Sometimes she sat very close to us, sometimes she seemed almost silly, as if she was trying to distract us. Was that comfort? Was it pure opportunism? Probably both. Dogs are social animals - they react strongly to what happens in the group.

The central difference:

• We grieve with our heads and with our hearts.

• Dogs react to changes in their world with their behaviour, their body language and their sense of smell.

That doesn't mean that dogs don't feel anything. They feel a lot - but differently.
This must be respected: not to humanise, but also not to devalue.

Many dog people ask themselves: Is my dog grieving - or has everyday life suddenly changed?

This is an important distinction, and we experienced it first-hand with Amalia. When Vito was no longer there, everything changed for her:

• She suddenly had more attention.

• There was no more competition for food.

• She was allowed on the sofa more often because we no longer had to pay as much attention to hygiene as we did with Vito with his complaints.

• Walks were more relaxed because we no longer had to cater for two very different needs.

All this led to Amalia appearing calmer and more relaxed - but was that grief? Behavioural changes after the loss of a dog are often a mixture of grief reactions (e.g. searching behaviour, restlessness, reduced appetite) and adaptation to the new everyday life.
Studies (e.g. 2016, University of Milan) show that 86% of dog owners perceive changes - but not every change automatically means "emotional grief".

We humans tend to impose our emotions on the dog: "Oh, he must be suffering just like us!"
But: dogs have no cognitive concept of death. They sense changes, smell the missing dog, feel our grief - but they are not stuck in a loop of brooding. And yet: they experience loss. They sense that a social partner is missing, smell the difference, feel the change in the structure.

If the deceased dog was an important social partner, a support, a safety anchor, the reactions can be very strong.
This can manifest itself as:

• Search behaviour (repeatedly seeking out the other dog's place, wandering around).

• Withdrawal or increased attachment .

• Food refusal .

• Restlessness, altered sleep rhythm, increased whimpering.

In multi-dog households, fixed structures are often formed: one dog provides security, the other orientates itself. If this anchor is suddenly missing, the other dog can get into a kind of stressful state that looks like "sadness" on the outside.

We must not simply transfer our human feelings ("he must be incredibly sad"), but we must notice changes in behaviour and take them seriously. A dog that no longer eats, doesn't want to come out, seems apathetic or is searching hard needs support: stability, routine, activity - and sometimes help from outside.

Amalia has shown us impressively how differently dogs can react to the loss of a fellow dog. She did not "grieve" like a human. She didn't do any conscious grieving, no crying, no brooding, no missing in the human sense.

And yet her life has changed.
She had more peace and quiet when Eat. More closeness to us. Less of a feeling of having to watch out.

This shows us that many behavioural changes after the death of a dog are not direct grief, but a reaction to changes in everyday conditions. These can be positive or negative - this is entirely individual.

At the same time, there are dogs who needed the deceased partner as a support - for stability, for structure, for social security. In such cases, the loss can lead to insecurity, restlessness and sometimes even depression.

How you can help your dog

• Maintain routines or create new rituals.
  Dogs need stability - especially now.
• Mindful observation.
  Not every change is bad, but some need support.
• Do not humanise.
  Dogs live in the moment. They perceive loss differently.
• Reflect on your own grief.
  Our behaviour changes - and dogs react to this.